No turning back

My life started to make a 180-degree  turn when God revealed Himself to me.

What was my life before when He was at my back? It’s a mess- full of arguments, full of queries, stubborn kid. When I was an unbeliever, I always talk boisterously, disrespect to parents, discourteous to others. Arguing with everyone, uttering bad words with my mind saying that word “times thousands and thousands and forever”.  I fought with my mother and with my siblings. I remember one time, when my sister and I fought together, I was yelling at her. Suddenly, she dragged the trophy that was beside her. She was supposed to hit me but she threw it down. I also making curses and I felt my heart covered with darkness and sin. I lust, porn, a liar, imagine and doing immoral things. I feel empty. I thought I was hinged in this routine for the rest of my life.

I  am deeply influenced with my family’s devotion to worship carved images. But as I grow old, I felt longing in my heart which I can’t determine what was it. I don’t know how it happened that it came to a point, someone’s talking inside of me out there. And as I felt that it talking back to me, I look in the skies. I know that it was God. That He is real.

There came a point in my life that I thought I was going to die. I was really sick, suffocate. When I was a junior high school student, we have a school activity called ROTC and I was one of the members. Every friday we have gone to the spacious field. Classes were about to end for a month. I get tired and fatigue. When I woke up, I feel like I’m not breathing. I was so scared. Running downstairs, calling for my mother, then everyone woke up. Starting that day I’m so conscious of my breathing.. what if I’m not gonna breath again?.. Until one time, my sister invited me in a church. I never knew that day my life was going to change. I felt like I’m unchained. Deeper and deeper I came to know Jesus more. He draws near and He is a faithful God.